He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
