How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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