Her vagina should come with caution tape.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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