I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
