You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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