Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
