Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Shame - the story of my life.
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