I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
