someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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