Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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