Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
