Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize