...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo