I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club