you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
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Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
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That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.