I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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