just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
