Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
