i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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