I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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