There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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