I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
