My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
