Christians are straight up FREAKS
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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