Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
vagina is talking i cant
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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