Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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