He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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