is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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