Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
