its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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