bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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