Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
