So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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