From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
