I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize