Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
