this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize