i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
