so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
