we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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