We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
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I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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