but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
