i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
