I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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