That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
