it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
