what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
