Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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