Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
