my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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