he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
