Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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