Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
