You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
