Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize